Asian MRAs

Point number one is quite simply this: White girls don't want us. This might seem at first to be a ludicrous complaint: after all, isn't it 'natural' for white girls to want white guys, and white guys to want white girls?

The part that the Asian man is bitter about is not just "White girls don't want us" but rather "White girls don't want us, but white guys are all over Asian girls". Plenty of white guys want Asian girls. When this happens, they usually call it a fetish. They might give it names they think are clever like "having the Yellow Fever" or "being rice-ist".

Sure, not all white guys are into Asian girls, but there are plenty that are. Let's arbitrarily say that 5% of white guys have a thing for Asian girls. So, 5% of white girls should have a thing for Asian guys, right? WRONG. The answer is probably more like 0.05%.

I mean, when was the last time you saw a male Asian porn star? (In a porno from the US of course, not a porno from Japan). And yet, how many female Asian porn stars are there? Okay, so porn is mostly targeted towards men. It might not say anything about the wants and desires of the average white woman. How about trashy romance novels, then? Surely those are the equivalent of porno targeted towards women. I'd be willing to bet that you could scan entire racks of trashy romances at your local supermarket and not find a single one that depicts an Asian man seducing and romancing a white woman. (At least, I have to assume this from all of the cover art.)

So there is this inequity in the white-Asian interracial thing, and the group that ends up with the short end of the stick is the Asian men. This is especially hard for those American-born Asians (ABAs) who grew up in America, speak better English than their parents, grew up among white people, and most importantly, have white standards of beauty. These unlucky guys, having been exposed to the American media all his life, is more likely to want a white girlfriend than an Asian girlfriend. The ABA and his white buddy might both be longing for that cute blond girl next door, but that cute blond girl is going to look at the buddy more often than the ABA.

It boils down to the fact that most white girls don't even think about Asian men when they picture a 'datable' guy. The Asian guy they know is a nice guy, is polite, can help them with their math homework - but is never somebody they would fantasize about wining and dining them. Again, critics will say immediately that it's only natural for white girls to want white guys. To this I say bullshit. Plenty of white girls are into, say, Latino men as much as (or even more than) white guys. There are also white girls who are into black men as much as or more than white guys (leading some white guys to complain that black men are 'stealing their women'. These white guys think they might understand what Asian men are going through. In fact, they don't. They're complete morons.)

Now hold on, some of you white girls are saying. I'd date an Asian! I've got nothing against them! That's great and all, but before you go patting yourselves on the back, take a good look at the Asian guy you're picturing in your head as the datable Asian. Does he wear Abercrombie and Fitch and drink lots of beer? If so, he's not a real Asian. He's a Twinkie - yellow on the outside, white on the inside, and full of crap. (Also bad for you.) Does he wear Fubu and refer to himself as a nigga? Also not a real Asian. (Heretofore these guys shall be known as 'Yellow M&Ms' - thanks Kono). If, on the other hand, he's got glasses and is more versed in chemical engineering than trendy clothes, you're a saint. (Give me your number.)

So in summary, Asian men are bitter about white women not wanting them not because they believe that all white women should want them, but because the trend of white women not wanting Asian men is not similarly mirrored in the trend of white men wanting Asian women. When a white girl meets an Asian guy, she almost instantly categorizes him in the 'not datable' column - most likely done unconsciously, but done all the same. The Asian guy is a good guy to know, but apparently not a choice to date.

So we've established that white girls just don't want Asian guys. Big deal, some of you are saying. So what if there are white guys who want Asian girls? They're fetishists, and you can't be bitter just because of a mere fetish.

That would be true except for the following fact, which is really the low blow that enrages most Asian men and sends them into alternating cycles of self-pity and bitter resentment: Asian girls don't want Asian guys either. Yes, you heard right. If the Asian man expected some sympathy from his own race for his plight, instead he got a punch in the gut.

We went over how white guys can be all over Asian girls, and the really sickening part is that the Asian girls are usually more than happy to respond in being all over the white guys. Think of any Asian/white interracial couples you might have seen. Chances are, it's an Asian girl with a white guy, not the other way around. This isn't just subjective bias talking - one recent population survey held in California (where there are huge populations of Asian guys, I must remind you) found that in an Asian/white interracial marriage, it was 10 times more likely to be an Asian girl and a white guy than the other way around.

Why do Asian girls prefer white guys? It's not totally their fault, especially if they're American-born. Like ABA guys, they might have grown up with white standards of beauty, swooning over Leonardo DiCaprio instead of Jet Li while growing up. So they might be more willing to date a white guy than their mother was. Of course, the difference between the Asian girl and the Asian guy is that the girl is likely to get some sort of positive response.

This is where my sympathy ends. It's the other trend - Asian women who've grown up in their own country, swooning over white men half a world away - that's the real kick in the crotch. The attention white guys get in places like Hong Kong, Taipei, and Tokyo is just sick. Never mind the recent news about the dating agency that recently opened in Great Britain and the US specifically for the purpose of helping Japanese women find good white men to marry.

What does the white guy have that the Asian guy doesn't? There's two categories of this, actually - stuff that people THINK the Asian guy doesn't have (but he does), and stuff that the Asian guy legitimately doesn't have. I'll get into these later in the sections entitles "Western society hates us" and "Nature hates us". Suffice to say that a lot of these things are things that girls SAY they don't care about... but they must be lying, because they do. What do girls usually say they care about? They say they care about respect, and a guy who has a future. Nobody has more respect than the Asian man! We treat our teachers well, we treat our elders well, and of course we treat our women well. As for future? When was the last time you saw a homeless Asian guy, or an Asian guy with a deadend job at a McDonald's?

The only conclusion I can draw from all of this is that most girls are lying to you when they tell you what they're looking for, and that's why the white guy wins. Sad? Yeah. But true.

As bad as the Western prejudice against Asian males is, there is one factor even deeper than societal prejudice working against the average Asian man. Yes, even if all the people in the world were suddenly brainwashed into not being racist anymore and all of the aforementioned examples ceased to exist, the Asian man would continue to be screwed. Why? Because Nature hates us.

I was considering titling this section "God hates us", but like many Asians, we weren't indoctrinated with religion growing up as kids and thus I have a more stoic view on the world. Regardless of whether there is a God or not, though, one thing is clear - whoever or whatever is responsible for the design of the modern world, whether the hand of God or the forces of mathetmatical randomness, they hate Asians. Let's look at a few examples:

Asians are not hairy: When was the last time you saw an Asian with a hairy body? Asians just aren't too hairy. It's pretty hard for the average Asian to grow a full beard. It's almost impossible for an Asian to have a hairy chest. And in a society where hairiness is usually equated with manliness (recall the phrase 'This'll put some hair on your chest!'), the end result is that Asians usually get viewed as effeminate fairies, not real manly men. I'm not sure what odd figment of evolution decided that having hair was manly, unless being manly is somehow related to being descended from apes. Thankfully this trend is dying out, with help from an unlikely source, that is, the rising popularity of metrosexuals. The appropriation of the gay male sensibility means that more and more women are finding the sleek and hairless look more attractive than the ridiculous fur-covered look, so I guess we Asians have to thank the metrosexuals for something. Sadly, this is where the good news ends for Asian men.

Asians are short: Fast fact: The average white man is 5'9" tall. The average Asian man is 5'5" tall. Asians are just shorter than whites, though not by much. Still, this is enough to fuel endless jokes about how short Asians are, mostly in the movies (again, the media scourge!) Asians are also much more tightly clustered aroud the average, so there are a LOT of them around 5 and half feet, whereas the white male is more spread out, so there are plenty 6-foot-and-then-some monsters out there. Why does this make a difference? Because girls can be ridiculously shallow. Now I'm a very forgiving person. You could have a million different pairs of shoes and a different outfit for every day of the year and sitll I'd hesitate to call you shallow. But I will not hesitate to call you shallow if, like so many girls, you're the type who insists that your boyfriend be a certain height. Many girls I've talked to say a prospective male has to be at least 5'10" to even warrant consideration, and many say that they would never date somebody their own height or shorter. I don't know what the big deal is. I'm 5'9" myself (taller than both of my parents, and have been for years) and I wouldn't rule out dating a girl TALLER than myself. I wouldn't rule out dating a girl SHORTER than myself either. Maybe I'm just weird, but I happen to think that height ranks slightly lower than eye color on the list of Things To Look For In A Significant Other.

Asians have smaller dicks: Yeah, I said it. Asians are getting taller all the time, as generations go by - no consolation to short Asians of THIS generation, but maybe their grandsons won't have as many problems as they did... provided they even have grandsons. One thing that Nature really hates Asians on, though, is the following. The average white man's dick is 6.13 inches long. The average Asian man's is 5.08 inches. (You have no idea how many gay porn and penis enlargement websites I had to comb through to get these statistics. I hope you all thank me for the dedication I put forward for this site.) Never mind the "Size doesn't matter" lie - the fact is that in the back of every woman's mind, whether they consciously acknowledge it or not, the Asian man just doesn't measure up to the white man. Yeah, that was a pun. And it was on purpose. In any case, averages are a mean thing. An Asian guy with an 8-inch monster still has to labor with the stereotype. Nametags that say "Hi, my name is Harry Lee, and I have an 8-inch dick." just aren't in style yet.

Rare is the girl who is willing to look past all of these things. Rarer still is the girl who prefers shorter, hairless men with small dicks. The only man more cursed by his genetics and less likely to have a happy life than the American-born Asian is a gay French man who lives in Texas. Sorry guys - Nature just hates us.

I've ranted quite a bit about why Asians are screwed, so on and so forth. So it might seem at first glance surprising, shocking, or even impossible that there might be white guys that actually want to emulate Asians. These white-guys-who-want-to-be- Asian (hereafter referred to as 'Fried Eggs' - white on the outside, yellow on the inside, bad for your heart, and goes straight to your hips) might seem like they're only following a dead end path. In actuality, though, they're just another cog in the Giant Machine of Asian Man Screwage.

It's pretty easy to tell a Fried Egg when you meet one. Most of them attempt to appropriate some sort of Asian culture (usually Japanese, sometimes Chinese). However, their knowledge of said culture is woefully limited. If you've got the Japanese Fried Egg, you're dealing with somebody who watches anime and likes sushi. If you've got the Chinese Fried Egg, you're dealing with somebody who takes kung fu lessons. In fact, their knowledge of culture is so limited that it's insulting for them to even claim they like Japanese culture, when all they know about Japanese culture is Dragonball Z.

That's not to say that every anime fan is a Fried Egg. I know quite a few very reasonable anime fans. However, for every reasonable anime fan, there is a certifiable Fried Egg nut. These guys are instantly spottable. They'll usually have some variant of "SSJGoku2941293" as their IM handle or recite "Aku soku zan!" (horribly mispronounced, of course) as if that phrase was some deep saying by Confucius.

Some of them may sport kanji shirts or even tattoos, like this guy over here to the right. Fried Eggs usually like kanji because they think it looks cool, or it makes them look more 'culturally diverse', whatever the hell that means. Unfortunately for this guy, his tattoos claim that the four elements are water, fire, earth, and... empty. Sorry! I bet I could make a shirt that says "I am a stupid ignorant foreigner" in Japanese, and Fried Eggs would buy it.

Now that we've gone over the characteristics of a Fried Egg, it's time to explain why Fried Eggs also screw Asian Men over. While a Fried Egg is usually a quote-unquote 'dork' and therefore is not usually a big competitor for girls (having usually marginalized themselves into the anime or video game communities), this only means they're not really competition for other white guys. Rather, they compete for the small pool of girls who are into Asian culture. Let's say you meet a girl in your, oh, Chinese Culture class. You think you've got a chance, right? But no! Along comes some white guy who quotes Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, has a tattoo that says "male" on his arm, and whose IM handle is "HimuraKenshinBattousai". The girl is blinded by the Fried Egg's so-called 'cultural diversity' and 'understanding of Asian issues', and once again the Asian guy is left in the dust.

It's a sorry trend, but Fried Eggs are going to get increasingly popular as Asian culture becomes 'in', whereas actual Asian people remain ignored. Just like real fried eggs and the Atkins diet, Fried Eggs are being consumed more and more, despite being so bad for you, yet nobody wants to believe it.

This site's been up for quite awhile now. Every now and then, I'll get an email from a non-Asian woman who likes Asian men. The email will go something like "Help! I'm a white/black/Latino/Arab woman who likes Asian men, but they won't even look at me twice! I've given up on white/black/Latino/Arab men because (insert reason here), but I can't get the Asian guy that I really want! What do I do?" The plight of these Asian-loving Non-Asian Women - hereby abbreviated ALNAW on this site - is complex and is worth looking at. I can't promise effective solutions (who do you think I am, the Asian Dr. Phil?), but at the very least we can take a look at the issues that confront ALNAWs and what can be done about them... if anything.

Issue #1: Racism and Cultural Standards of Beauty
One reason that many Asian guys won't look at non-Asian girls is the issue of racism and culture. Asians aren't perfect - racism does exist among the Asian population. Even if your target guy is himself not racist, there is a chance that his parents might be. Some of the less-understanding Asian parents would be absolutely horrified at the concept of their son dating a non-Asian girl, and so the son himself may, consciously or not, avoid associating with such girls. What can be done about this? Not much, unfortunately. Depending on how under the shadow of their parents the Asian guy is, you may in fact not be able to do anything. Still, there's certain things that can help. Show an appreciation for the culture. Be as understanding and respectful as possible. If you are studying the home language of your target guy and his family, big bonus! (But be careful! Inter-Asian racism also happens. If your target guy and his family is Korean, it may in fact be a big mistake to bring up that you're studying Japanese, as many Korean families hate Japan to this day!)
Issue #1b: Addendum for non-white women The situation is even tougher for non-white ALNAWs. Many black or Latino women have written in asking why many Asians are willing to seek out white women but aren't willing to date black or Latino women. I suspect that aside from the racism issue above, there is a cultural aspect. You see, in East Asian cultures, pale is considered beautiful. Whereas in the US, women buy bronzing lotions and go out and get tans, in Asian cultures women go out and buy whitening creams and carry parasols to keep the sun off of them. Therefore by extension, just by this little cultural difference and how they are brought up, many Asian guys are much more likely to find (pale) white women attractive as opposed to a black or latino woman. If your target guy is Indian or Filipino, for instance, this isn't going to be as big of an issue, but if your target guy is Chinese, Japanese, or Korean, finding one who likes duskier women is tough indeed.

Issue #2: Pressure From Friends and Society
Many of those who have written into the site have mentioned how, upon telling their friends that they prefer Asian men, they get terrified reactions ranging from 'You like WHAT?' to 'But he's going to beat you and keep you in the kitchen all day!' The source of these reactions have already been mentioned elsewhere on the site; you don't need me to preach to you again on negative stereotypes of Asian men and how they are propagated.
What can you do? Educating your friends is a good first step. Hell, show them this website! As long as they have a sense of humor (if they don't, I suggest you stop being friends with them - joking, just joking!) they might learn a little. But, of course, nobody can change a person if they themselves are willing to change. If that's the case, screw your friends - seize your own happiness, and who cares what your friends say about you and your Asian guy?

Issue #3: Passivity
Another point mentioned often in emails is a situation such as the following: "I go to a library/coffee shop where there are tons of Asian guys, but none of them ever talk to me! Instead, some creepy white guys always try to pick me up! What gives?" What gives is the issue of passivity. Many who write in go on to add that they are "traditional girls", i.e., they would rather that the guy approach them and ask them out; they would never approach a guy and ask him out. I will say right here that if you are a traditional girl, you are going to severely hamper your chances of getting an Asian guy. Here is why. Asian culture, as I've gone into at length elsewhere on this site, is built around respect as well as polite distance. There is almost no way an Asian guy who is in touch with his culture will strike up a conversation with a woman he doesn't know in a place like a coffee shop - this just doesn't happen in Asian cultures. Doing so would be considered rude and terribly forward. Now, if you're at party or a dance club, can you expect an Asian guy you don't know to approach you? Sure. But if you're at a library, or a coffee shop, or elsewhere, forget it.
So again, what can you do? If you are a traditional girl, my first advice is: stop being a traditional girl. It's the 21st century - there's nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out; nobody (nobody important anyway) will consider you too forward or a slut. If you can't give up being traditional, your next step is to be resigned to the fact that it's going to be much harder for you to find that right Asian guy. About all you can do is find a place with TONS of Asian guys, and hope that you catch the eye of the right one. Be encouraging, too. You don't have to approach them, but if you make eye contact, smile or nod. It'll make it that much easier for the Asian guy to break down the cultural notion that approaching you would be rude and unwelcome. Barring this, get your friends to help. Having your friends introduce you to Asian guys they know eliminates the 'stranger' designation and once again makes it more culturally acceptable for the Asian guy to approach you.

Issue #4: Don't Settle For Less Than What You Deserve
Remember above all, just because a guy is Asian doesn't mean he's a winner. If you're sick of dating frat boys and would rather date an Asian guy because Asians in general are more respectful towards women, for the love of god don't date a twinkie who treats you like crap just because he's Asian! There's some other Asian guy out there who's much more willing to give you the respect you deserve.

I hope this article has given you some insight into what it's like to be a ALNAW and what you can do about it. Not being ALNAWs ourselves, we don't really know 'what it's like', we can only report secondhand and give advice that may or may not work. If you have further issues that you would like addressed here, please, write us! We'd love to hear your questions and concerns.

What if you missed out on the lessons in masculinity taught in the gyms and locker rooms of America’s high schools? What if life has failed to make you a socially dominant alpha male who runs the American boardroom and prevails in the American bedroom? What if no one ever taught you how to greet white people and make them comfortable? What if, despite these deficiencies, you no longer possess an immigrant’s dutiful forbearance for a secondary position in the American narrative and want to be a player in the scrimmage of American appetite right now, in the present?

How do you undo eighteen years of a Chinese upbringing?

This is the implicit question that J. T. Tran has posed to a roomful of Yale undergraduates at a master’s tea at Silliman College. His answer is typically Asian: practice. Tran is a pickup artist who goes by the handle Asian Playboy. He travels the globe running “boot camps,” mostly for Asian male students, in the art of attraction. Today, he has been invited to Yale by the Asian-American Students Alliance.

“Creepy can be fixed,” Tran explains to the standing-room-only crowd. “Many guys just don’t realize how to project themselves.” These are the people whom Tran spends his days with, a new batch in a new city every week: nice guys, intelligent guys, motivated guys, who never figured out how to be successful with women. Their mothers had kept them at home to study rather than let them date or socialize. Now Tran’s company, ABCs of Attraction, offers a remedial education that consists of three four-hour seminars, followed by a supervised night out “in the field,” in which J. T., his assistant Gareth Jones, and a tall blonde wing-girl named Sarah force them to approach women. Tuition costs $1,450.

“One of the big things I see with Asian students is what I call the Asian poker face—the lack of range when it comes to facial expressions,” Tran says. “How many times has this happened to you?” he asks the crowd. “You’ll be out at a party with your white friends, and they will be like—‘Dude, are you angry?’ ” Laughter fills the room. Part of it is psychological, he explains. He recalls one Korean-American student he was teaching. The student was a very dedicated schoolteacher who cared a lot about his students. But none of this was visible. “Sarah was trying to help him, and she was like, ‘C’mon, smile, smile,’ and he was like …” And here Tran mimes the unbearable tension of a face trying to contort itself into a simulacrum of mirth. “He was so completely unpracticed at smiling that he literally could not do it.” Eventually, though, the student fought through it, “and when he finally got to smiling he was, like, really cool.”

Tran continues to lay out a story of Asian-American male distress that must be relevant to the lives of at least some of those who have packed Master Krauss’s living room. The story he tells is one of Asian-American disadvantage in the sexual marketplace, a disadvantage that he has devoted his life to overturning. Yes, it is about picking up women. Yes, it is about picking up white women. Yes, it is about attracting those women whose hair is the color of the midday sun and eyes are the color of the ocean, and it is about having sex with them. He is not going to apologize for the images of blonde women plastered all over his website. This is what he prefers, what he stands for, and what he is selling: the courage to pursue anyone you want, and the skills to make the person you desire desire you back. White guys do what they want; he is going to do the same.

His efforts at dating were likewise “a miserable failure.” It was then that he turned to “the seduction community,” a group of men on Internet message boards like alt.seduction.fast. It began as a “support group for losers” and later turned into a program of self-improvement. Was charisma something you could teach? Could confidence be reduced to a formula? Was it merely something that you either possessed or did not possess, as a function of the experiences you had been through in life, or did it emerge from specific forms of behavior? The members of the group turned their computer-science and engineering brains to the question. They wrote long accounts of their dates and subjected them to collective scrutiny. They searched for patterns in the raw material and filtered these experiences through social-psychological research. They eventually built a model.

This past Valentine’s Day, during a weekend boot camp in New York City sponsored by ABCs of Attraction, the model is being played out. Tran and Jones are teaching their students how an alpha male stands (shoulders thrown back, neck fully extended, legs planted slightly wider than the shoulders). “This is going to feel very strange to you if you’re used to slouching, but this is actually right,” Jones says. They explain how an alpha male walks (no shuffling; pick your feet up entirely off the ground; a slight sway in the shoulders). They identify the proper distance to stand from “targets” (a slightly bent arm’s length). They explain the importance of “kino escalation.” (You must touch her. You must not be afraid to do this.) They are teaching the importance of sub-­communication: what you convey about yourself before a single word has been spoken. They explain the importance of intonation. They explain what intonation is. “Your voice moves up and down in pitch to convey a variety of different emotions.”

I understand completely why white MRAs and their Asian counterparts don't seem to ever hang together xD.

So in summary, Asian men are bitter about white women not wanting them not because they believe that all white women should want them, but because the trend of white women not wanting Asian men is not similarly mirrored in the trend of white men wanting Asian women.

Therefore by extension, just by this little cultural difference and how they are brought up, many Asian guys are much more likely to find (pale) white women attractive as opposed to a black or latino woman. If your target guy is Indian or Filipino, for instance, this isn't going to be as big of an issue, but if your target guy is Chinese, Japanese, or Korean, finding one who likes duskier women is tough indeed.